solongsuckers.com

Paul likes bicycles. Paul enjoys bicycling in New York. Paul wants to enjoy bicycling in Moscow. Paul examines all the dangers before buying his bicycle. Paul finally commits to buying bicycle. Paul buys new bicycle. Paul's bicycle is shiny, yellow and black. Paul rides new bicycle to meet friend. Paul rides past factory where stray dogs chase him. Paul gets bitten in the leg by dog. Paul limps home. Paul reads up on rabies on internet. Paul freaks out. Paul goes to see doctor. Paul gets rabies shots. Paul stares at new shiny, yellow and black bicycle sitting in his apartment.

So I'm older. Can't really go out every night and get smashed. If you're around me in Moscow, you'd think I was AA. Because I don't really drink any alcohol in regular terms. You see I either drink nothing or I drink a lot. There's no in between. So at least once month, I do a lot. And last night I did. Did what? Jagermeister. The only drink gets me drunk yet keeps me awake without resorting to other means. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. This party was at the same place and had the same theme as the last time. I went with nearly an identical drinking schedule, exponential drinking.

Another odd thing that happened was that I met a young tiny fireball of girl the last time I was here. You see, usually I like them tall with dark hair and closer to my age. But I've been finding out that's not reasonable in Moscow. I mean the closer to my age part, not the tall and dark haired part. So for some inexplicable reason, I was really attracted to this opposite of types the last time here. Maybe because there was this air of not legal about it. After all, she fits in the palm of my hand. Anyway, I thought this was a fluke that I'd be attracted to this little girl. But aaaahhh, not so, like I said, last night was very identical to the last time. It seems I now have a new trend emerging. If you look closely at the blurry motion picture below, you'll see this tiny little young girl (smiling in the foreground) that I got acquainted moments after this shot. Hope I don't go to jail.

Welcome to my new blog in exile in Moscow. This will be a compendium of basically anything that comes out of my head (or ass) and at times be accompanied by a picture or video. And if I do my job correctly, maybe I'll end up on some government watch list. Burn America, Burn!